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I Am Trying to Forget Everything

by Carlos Danger!

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1.
Carlos Danger's back Here I am, hiding behind another chapter about my broken, hate-fueled heart attack Set my organs on fire You can sell them off to the cheap black market funeral pyre I'm shedding skin So, all my close friends can see my cracked, acid soaked skeleton And Mary, you were bad for me You're crazy and I adopted your fucking anxiety You cut me open, left me for dead But, I was hoping you would leave my head Can anybody help me out of this? So here I am, I'm stuck eating shit I'll keep getting high, and taking all your hits I'll help my own god damn self outta this.
2.
When you let go of me, it felt like drinking week old coffee I can't sleep; I'm nauseous and I am weak. When you let go of me, it felt like I just couldn't see I'm confused and alone, and your ghost is haunting my home I'm swallowing my pride as I run and try to hide tonight Your teeth pulled me under when you got my throat with that bloody bite And I tried to stay afloat even though I had a panic attack This whole conversation has left me fucking manic When you let go of me, it felt like drinking week old coffee I can't sleep; I'm nauseous and I am weak. When you let go of me, it felt like I just couldn't see I'm confused and alone, and your ghost is haunting my home Turn this double standard into a shitty rule that you try to impose Piled on top of failure and a mountain of all my broken bones If you're looking closely at your legs you can see the indention's The scars and the marks of my malicious intentions When you let go of me, it felt like drinking week old coffee I can't sleep; I'm nauseous and I am weak. When you let go of me, it felt like I just couldn't see I'm confused and alone, and your ghost is haunting my home Crush my legs and make me sure of what will never be mine While you're at it, can you fill the notches in my crooked spine With cement to weigh me down in an attempt to end me I swear to god I'm done drinking this coffee When you let go of me, it felt like drinking week old coffee I can't sleep; I'm nauseous and I am weak. When you let go of me, it felt like I just couldn't see I'm confused and alone, and your ghost is haunting my home And you lied to me In this catastrophe When you let go of me, it felt like drinking week old coffee And Ilse I over think everyday When you let go of me, it felt like I just couldn't see I'm fucked and alone; you've deconstructed my bones
3.
Even after you left I still read Bukowski 'cause he's my shit I just can't take this I can't take this I can't take this I've been trapped in my basement, fucking wasted I've been dealing with my chest cut open, and knuckles swollen When you couldn't stay, I thought that I would waste away But I'm getting better I'm getting better I'm getting better And I hope you're well
4.
And Sami, I am broken, I am numb, I'm here without you For twenty-one long years I've never known what to do But tonight I feel the moon glaring down at me I'm sick of forcing myself to feel happy If I could just see your face at all I wouldn't want to blow my brains out onto the wall And Sami, You're a Wiccan from Wisconsin I'm a scumbag hibernating in shitty South Jersey How is your boy? I hope you're both doing well I'm trudging through miles of my own personal hell Broken glass, and what seems like a dozen heart attacks All my fault, but this is what happens when you live in the dark And I'm sorry about writing this dumb fucking song Just tell me that you hate it, and that this is wrong And Sami, here I am, I'm feeling so fucking jaded I feel like the world's against me and I'm hated If I could crawl out of my memory filled basement Maybe I just wouldn't feel so god damn cheated And the past is knocking at my door God damn you all God damn you all
5.
6.
I've been making all these songs Feeling like I've been wrong About the way I write and sing and scream at you But if it's any consolation I've been trying to make things happen In the space between my dreams and all of this reality I'll burn this place down I'll see you in hell Man, I don't know what to do So here I am, stuck in my room At three in the morning, freaking out and fucking shaking The only solace that I find Is scouring my shitty mind Overthinking every aspect of this life I'll burn this place down I'll see you in hell Well, there's demons at your door And they're coming back for more Fuck the pretense, I'm just waiting here alone And I can hear my spine breaking While my insides are baking All the smoke is making my lungs collapse And you've been running too How could I blame you I'm the devil in a sheep's fucking clothing While everyone is fine I've been walking this fine line I'm trying to forget everything Fuck everything Fuck everything Fuck everything Fuck

about

Listen to it with headphones for best quality. Or don't. I'm not your mother.

credits

released December 31, 2014

Brandon Morris - Album Art
Jarret Dikes - Mastering
Ryan Curtiss - Jerking off into the microphone. Oh and mixing and stuff

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